Well hello there, I know it has been awhile but sometimes a girl has got to take a break from the dating game. It can be quite stressful at times as you all know. :)
As I get older, love and what it means changes weekly. Today, I can say with certainty that for a while I was settling. If the guy was attractive, successful, and somewhat smart I would give him a go. Just because. After careful consideration, I've decided that not every half decent twit should get an opportunity to get to know me. All the particulars aside (he has to be stylish, kind, witty, etc.) he now needs to find my quirks cute and my rants endearing. Yes, I know that my stock just plummeted but you have to understand when I love someone I love them because of their weirdness and their quirks. It is only fair that I ask for the same thing in return no?
This year, I decided to start fresh by tying all my loose ended relationships. Truthfully, I’ve been working on this since Christmas which is why I haven’t been blogging. I’ve called or texted every single guy that I was leading on, talking to, dating, breaking up or making up with and closed all chapters. I am notorious for leaving relationships open-ended with no expiration date, “just in case” we could work things out. The reality of "it" wasn't there with any of these guys and to them I was a great escape in between bad breakups and lonely spurts. What could be better than a girl they can turn to that they’ve been emotionally involved with in the past, that they can just open up to or spend fun vacations with, without needing to meet any expectation of taking the relationship to the next level….ever?
My “phobia” of commitment really has just become an easy excuse to throw out whenever anyone wants to know where this could go. I don’t think I’m scared anymore or scared at all. I figured out that I had just given up on finding someone worth the time and the effort, so I turned my lazy efforts into a commitment phobia. I’m not scared of finding someone; I just truly believed that I was never going to. I was settling for mediocre guys to pass the time with and as fun as some of those guys were (are) I think it is time to put it to rest. So the last few months have been about finding out what I want and letting go of those who I don’t need anymore. It wasn’t fair to them but also it wasn’t fair to me.
Now don’t worry, I’m not retiring from the dating game yet…I’m just cleaning house and will be holding tryouts for the 2011 team. xo
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