The Slut: Part 2

WARNING: The following might cause nausea, laughter, throwing up in your mouth, that sort of thing. Read at your own risk.

Note to the readers:
When guys are sugary, super overly sweet it usually means they are overcompensating for lack of fidelity or trying to make up for something disgusting that they did or are planning to do. If a guy EVER talks to you this way, my suggestion is RUN.


"Hey baby baby!! So all I wanted today after snorkeling the barrier reef, and playing and catching stingrays in the beautiful sun and crystal clear waters, then drinkin my face off at margaritaville and senor frogs, and after my nap, all I wanted was to hear your voice say I love you!! Ahhh I'm spending money on those calls til I hear your voice! I miss you so much babay and I reallly wish you were here. I know this sounds gay but there is so much stuff for couple to do, I mean me and [insert friend's name] have done it all, but that hardly compares to you!! haha I seriously have not stopped thinking about me and you! I am so excited we r doing this! There isn't a person in this world that makes me as happy as you do! and PS it 4.75 to use the internet for a minute! ahhhh but you are worth it.Keep writing me alotttt cause I barely can handle not being able to kiss you and see you! Welll We are off to the casino and our lobster dinner and bottles of wine! Think and dream about me baby! And keep reading those books and being My amazing babygirl! I love u hunni and cant wait til you are in my arms again! You are all I have on my agenda for when I get back!ooooooo and one more thing! We r gonna relax in miami on sat sun and mon if you wanna drive down and hang out at the beach and stuff... SO clear you schedule and let me know...k baby i gotta go I love you more than you will ever know! bye princess"

I know you are gagging as you finish reading this e-mail. That is what "the slut" sent me while he was on a party cruise. When he came back I found out he was hooking up with his ex so shortly after, I dumped him. He got engaged 6 months later, to a different girl.

Lord, help her.